April is Child Abuse Prevention Month

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Across the country social and human service workers, lawmakers, concerned citizens, students and others come together to support victims, honor survivors, and learn more about this very important issue.

This week I had the opportunity to attend the 18th Annual Child Abuse Prevention Conference in Albany. ​I was attending to gather research, ideas, and best practices from individuals and agencies across New York. I arrived on Monday afternoon, missing the plenary speaker for the day, but in time for lunch. After lunch I attended my first workshop, which focused on child abuse and domestic violence in the Hispanic community, and the role that culture and family plays in it. About 45% of the families that HFH serves are Hispanic, so this background information will be very useful.

My second workshop, Working With Fathers to Improve Outcomes for Children​, was interesting. Although I interact with fathers from time to time, 90% of the residents served at HFH's shelters are single mothers. While some of the information in this workshop was fairly standard about the position young, uneducated, impoverished, single fathers find themselves in, the facilitator shared personal anecdotes from his work with young fathers that shined a light on additional factors that need to be considered. I walked a way with some ideas for engagement activities that include fathers. Day one wrapped up just before 5:00. After catching up on the devastating news that day (a terrorist bombing at the annual Boston Marathon) I headed to Albany's Colonie Center to pick up a book at Barnes and Noble, and have dinner at P.F. Chang's. (Note: P.F. Chang's Crab Wontons are really, really good.)

Tuesday started early, and was a full day. The plenary session after breakfast was very emotional. The keynote speaker, Johnnetta McSwain, a survivor of child abuse, has an extremely inspiring story. I cannot do it justice in a just a few sentences, so I would encourage you to see the documentary The Road Beyond Abuse, in which she shares the horrific abuse she endured, life with her dysfunctional family, time as a young, single mother, and later, her personal achievements, as well as those of her son(s). I don't think there was a dry eye in the room after she had concluded her speech.

My first workshop of the day covered a topic every childless 20-something is interested in: learning about the cries and cues of babies, and making a construction paper baby. In all seriousness though, this workshop was so useful. Some knowledge that I took away to share with young moms:

1. Colic in infants will eventually end! It's usually around the four month mark, but in certain cases can go as long as 6 months. 
2. Establishing a schedule and routine will help you understand your babies cries. ​
3. No two babies are the same. What may have been true for one child, may not be the same for another!​
4. Babies will cry when they are bored. ​
5. Often times, when a baby is crying at night, it is because they have been over stimulated, and need some time in quiet, dimly lit room. A babies brain is absorbing everything it encounters all day long, and it is exhausting. ​

The presenter of this workshop had a clear, concise presentation with simple, straightforward handouts. Much of which she presented I can discuss with our nursery teachers and child-care providers, for them to share with parents. 

After lunch I attended Creating an Infancy Leadership Circle in Your Community to Prevent Child Abuse and Neglect Through Cross-Systems Collaboration. ​This workshop was particularly interesting to me, largely because of my early days with HFH, where I  worked with a large number of community groups on volunteer and donation projects. I see so much potential in creating an Infancy Leadership Circle in the communities HFH is established in. Groups like these are a great way to bring isolated families in touch with community resources to provide peer support, social engagement activities, education, and at times, assistance in securing everyday needs such as child care, health care, and more. Infancy Leadership Circles in New York are supported by the New York Zero-to-Three Network and the NYS Council on Children and Families, with locations in NYC. I hope it is something to become a part of in the future.

After this workshop I was finished for the day. So I drove to St. Johnsville, about an hour away, to have dinner with my Aunt Flora, a very close family friend of my Grandpa and Grandma Menghini. I hadn't seen Flora since Patrice's graduation from SUNY Oneonta a couple of years ago, so it was really nice to visit with her. We enjoyed a few hours together, and dinner from Romano's Macaroni Grill, which I picked up as I left Albany. ​(Romano's Macaroni Grill is pretty good. I ordered two Lasagna Bolognese dinners with side salads, which were also served with bread. The portions were so big that Flora and I could have shared one! If you ever find yourself there definitely get the tiramisu too.) The highlight of the evening, besides meeting Flora's companion, a large friendly dog named "Hey You!", was during dessert. As we ate she said, "Never in my life did I think I would have tiramisu again!" It made me laugh and form a lump in my throat at the same time. My first memories of Flora are as a pleasant, plump woman hosting my grandparents, my Aunt Nella, Uncle Babe, Pere Boulbes, and family at her farmhouse in Fort Plain. I remember her yelling at my dad after dinner one time, very concerned he would burn her house down while flambeing bananas, one of Pere's favorites. While she was most definitely unable to host me (having the limited, frail mobility of a 93 year-old) her mind is sharp as a tack, and we had a great conversation about my job, the conference I was in the midst of attending, wedding plans, and the Boston Marathon bombing. I left just before it got dark, and am truly happy to have visited with her. 

On Wednesday I attended Turning Trauma into Triumph: The Transformative Power of L.O.V.E.​ Part I​ and Part II. ​The facilitator of these workshops discussed the importance of developing resiliency in our children,  and her system of counseling called L.O.V.E. (Listen, Observe, Validate, Encourage). She also discussed helping older victims of child abuse focus on three key parts of their life: I am, I can, ​and I Have, ​​which address the person you are, what you can accomplish on your own, and the resources and support system you have for difficult times. The facilitator was very funny, and shared with the  group the story of her own life which gave me another level of understanding to her presentation.

In total I attended six workshops, and two keynotes (the final keynote was during the conference's closing lunch on Wednesday afternoon, and about mobilization to further the child abuse cause, change antiquated policies, and correct misconceptions.) Each session gave me excellent information and best practices to share with my colleagues who work with children who have experienced child abuse and families with histories of domestic violence. For social or human service workers looking to attend a local conference on such topics, I would strongly recommend the New York State Parenting Education Partnership 18th Annual Child Abuse Prevention Conference.